i've spent two weeks trying to find the right words, but all I needed were the wrong ones.
Is there a word for silent replies, for gazes that exchange sentences too delicate to be said? Is there a way to express that kind of intricate, blossoming feeling? Not like the burst of fireworks on New Year's Eve — it's not loud like that — more like hot chocolate in winter, like the feeling in your stomach when the plane takes off, like watering and sowing seeds that were shoved into dead, barren soil. Is there a word for touches like pockets of air, like ballerinas on pointe — graceful gentle points that were products of blood and bruises. Is there a word for emptiness since I am without you — a word for the cold inside despite summery weather? Is there a word for that gripping-breathless-tongue-tied kind of heart-stop? Like having feelings handicapped, dried up waterfalls and sunlight shifting into the room through the slits of your blinds, like I really really like you, I really really do.